hopeless romantic

i never fall in love fully; always one foot on the ground; never playing the game of trust because i doubt you'd be there steady as rock to catch me. nothing to break my fall, just this one foot on the ground. keeps me balanced & rational because diving in with you would be completely the opposite-- loving you is as irrational as mumbers that when expressed have a decimal that is neither repeating nor ending, meaning it can't be expressed as a fraction; fractioning off my love for you into the smallest possible percentages. see my heart is ten times colder than three skinny bitches butt naked in alaska in the middle of january & the reason i always stand off and move aside is because the warmth you cause from within melts the polar ice cap that is my heart. i'm not scared, just dont wanna go through the bullshit. to be continued.

ihateyouFTangelhaze

full of shit, full of shit, full of shit-- full of shit you are. YOU.. are SOO full of shit! full of shit like a cows colon. i despise looking into your eyes, for this very reason-- you make me need all 50 billion white blood cells in my body just to fight off the sickness you cause in my stomach. when your ringtone plays, i automatically silence it, if i had a magical remote-- i'd silence your mouth too. because the truth is that sickness is butterflies and i silence your ringtone because it makes me smile uncontrollably and your voice sends shivers down my spine. but the reality is... i can't stand yo black ass. because those feelings dont wont arent and cant reciprocate on your end of the deal. the deal being-- want me like i want you.


& in reality i want you just as bad as you want me. maybe worse; id still love you if you hate me first. let me take these roles and play reverse. see i wanted you like dead people want to be revived. like dead souls want to be alive. like deaf people want to hear. like resolutions want new years and its a sad fucking shame that you cant see what those bright fucking eyes do to me. i wish you were blind to everything around you. i wish i were your aura and as i'd constantly surround you. id feel you - id feel you. the real you; ahh fulfill you. cause these halfstepping niggas left you half empty. sipping slow and waiting for refillswhile im waiting for the hills in your heart to space and part and all you can say is never fall in love for real and all i can do is agree with you. you are broken. you are such a mess but this brken record playing before me is unshamingly at her best. skipping & scratching but still keeps me bopping and clapping. heart high off your autotunes.


lying, your lying. broken i am; heart shattered like glass & even the heat of your love couldn't melt & mold the pieces back together-- but i still want you to try. the truth is-- the dead dont want to be alive, they're dead-- they dont want for anything. the deaf don't want to hear, thats politically incorrect--you wanting me that's just as incorrect. a lie like a promise one makes to themselves knowing they aren't going to keep it-- a lie to oneself like a new years resolution knowing damn well two months later you've long forgotten it-- just like you forget about me. forget about me like here one day gone the next. tugging at the strings that bind the remaining pieces of my heart together like a harp snapping one at a time.

really..

Honestly... I like you 300x better when you're naked. Id like to have conversations with lips that don't unfold to teeth. Face in the pillow the only sound I wanna hear is a muffled scream. I don't want you to say my name I want you to spell it out. The only relationship I want-- is sexual. I don't want to lead you on, come across as romantic; because the closest you'll get to candle lit dinner is mickie d's from me.

blaaah; my aim away message

i want a love like carrie & big ; will & jada ; barrack & michelle ... i want a love like shihan. i wanna love you. like stolen moments, like first bike rides, like the first lick of a favorite ice cream, like laying in the warm sunshine. jigga & beyonce love. small town timmy and tina mae love. innocent and real love. I wanna settle down, start a family and have the comfort of your love. I want that reach for the stars, I see fireworks when we kiss, you make my heart melt, love conquers all love. I want a love and basketball love, twilight love, do anything to be with you type love. I want a love like unconditional motherly love. A love so deep I get lost in it love, but you always seem to find me type love. I want a circle type love meaning it never ends type love. Pda type love. Kinky love. I wanna love you in a foreign language te amo or mahal kita love. Pinch me I think im dreaming love. Deal with your overbearing monster mom in law & love her too love. But lets be real... im never gonna find this love... so hopefully she finds me... ill be waiting yall...