you--are.. everything i love, everything i hate... all in one. you're like a swiss army pocket knife. perfect-- everything i could ever want-- yet, nothing i'm ever going to need ... i wanna get-- high.. off this cigarette. with eyes red, light headed, floating.. grabbing hand fulls of the stars i used to think aligned you & i... solitare; like the last cigarette in my box... i wanna inhale you into me- breathe you, be you, have you, to hold you... inside; of me. strung out.. using your sharp words to penetrate my mind like needles to arms; your love is heroine, the kind of shit that after one hit i'm dead & gone. no longer mine; i'm yours. taken over. no urge to fight my addiction because YOU are what i live for, yearn for, and fiend for... these .. cigarettes.. are my sanity. loneliness all feels the same. what i wanna know is would i have been better off never having? or having & then losing? why am i alone? when you claim i'm EVERYTHING you ever wanted... wanted not needed... i see it now. when i get the strength to leave you-- you always tell me that you need me & i'm weak cuz i believe you... but you NEVER needed me. YOU lie... like cigarette commercials with cartoons that catch the attention of innocent children thinking this SHIT is cool.. dude... & it's not. you should wear a surgeon general warning stamped on your forehead-- I CAUSE HEARTBREAK & WEAKENING OF THE SOUL. i didn't ask for this shit. exhale, pretty grey clouds... toxic but smelling so wonderful with the hint of cloves. see these djarums only get me so far...
to be continued
